Bullied till ninth, Communication pro in college

5 min readMay 9, 2023

Well, I must say, till ninth, I was a bit of a loser. There I said it. Oops! I guess I made a small mistake. I seemed like a bit of a loser. Why was that you might ask? There are a few simple reasons. One of the most important ones is that I was not an effective communicator. So, I did what most people don't do. I worked on it. Here are a few steps that I took to actually become good.

Mirror Mirror

The queen you can see above is one of the smartest people I know.That is because she knew a small bit about conversation that most don't.Let me explain. The journey actually started because of one of my English teachers. He made me realize my potential and helped me see through all the dirt. Every day he supported me and praised me which gave me an immense amount of confidence and I feel that changed everything. When you start smiling at the mirror, and start thinking of yourself as the best, people notice that. The whole world sees you as you make them see yourself. Just notice how different your parents think about you from your friends. That is because you show your parents and friends your different sides. So I started being confident, which led to vulnerability which led to conversations and eventually long friendships

So the first thing, be confident. Or even act confident. If you cant do that then start roaming around with people who make you feel confident. With confidence comes the power to create long-lasting friendships and relationships. Confidence is the most underrated tool mankind has.

And then what?

Well after this happened, I got to know one crucial point that the woman above didn't know. Conversations are impactful only when they have some weight associated with them. It is a necessity for a conversation to hit someone for them to acknowledge them. To do this, I learnt this essential thing known as empathy. The easiest way to have a good conversation is to simply become empathetic. Observe people, and what problems they have, and be sincerely caring enough to listen and talk. People never hesitate to talk about their problems. Of course, don't cross the limit and ask questions that might offend them. You can't ask someone about his attachment issues on the first day(LOL did this once). Be a little patient and let them get comfortable. actively listening to what someone is saying and trying to understand their perspective, feelings, and experiences have helped me win conversations and actually create a bond. When you approach a normal conversation with empathy, you are not only listening to the words that are being said, but you are also paying attention to the tone, body language, and emotions being conveyed. Ask questions, be responsive, and one important thing: DON'T FAKE THIS ONE. It won't work. Have these conversations with the people who you want to. Leave the rest.

The most important curve

Smile

What were you thinking? Smiling is the best way to not get intimidated in a conversation. It is the smartest way to just block your fight, flight, fear instinct. It can have a big impact on the way people perceive us, and can help to create a positive and welcoming atmosphere in a conversation.

Have you ever noticed how much easier it is to talk to someone who is smiling? It’s almost like their smile is saying “I’m friendly and approachable, so feel free to open up to me!” When we smile at someone, it can help to break down barriers and create a connection, even if we don’t know the person very well. Smiling is also really important when it comes to building relationships. When we smile at someone, it can make them feel valued and appreciated, which can help to strengthen our bond with them. Plus, if we’re in a group setting, smiling can help to create a sense of camaraderie and make everyone feel like they’re part of a team.Of course, it’s important to remember that there is such a thing as a “fake” or forced smile. If we’re not genuinely feeling happy or friendly, it can be pretty obvious to the person we’re talking to. So while it’s definitely a good idea to smile in a conversation, it’s also important to make sure that our smile is authentic and reflects how we’re really feeling. Whether we’re trying to build relationships, make a good first impression, or just have a friendly chat, a smile can make all the difference in the world.

Weave good stories

You can easily turn a simple bland conversation into something meaningful by turning it into a story. Let me give you an example-

friend1-what did you eat?

friend2-Nothing.

And now an alternate example-

friend1-what did you eat?

friend2 -Oh man don't get me started. Last week was particularly hectic, and I found myself working late every day. I barely had time to grab a coffee, let alone eat a proper meal. I am feeling drained and weak. I realize that I couldn’t keep working like this. But every time I tried to take a break, something urgent came up, and I was back at my desk. Man work is so exhilarating these days. Wanna grab some food and discuss your work on the way?

how did I learn this? I learnt this from a course offered by Disney. Check it out-

Create an interesting life

To have good conversations with interesting people, you must be in an environment that allows this to occur. For this, you must make yourself interesting. You can do this by learning different instruments, books, shows, etc. I did this through my poetry and love for books as leverage to start meaningful conversations. Also having a multi-faceted and well-rounded personality is never a bad thing. So it will always help you and make you an inch closer to a good conversation.